I’m struggling to take it all in myself really. Could it be that I am finally feeling normal again?
I haven’t felt like this in months! In fact, I forgot what it felt like. There was a part of me that was worried that I might never feel like this again. I genuinely thought that the amount of stress and pressure I had put my brain under the last few months might have actually caused some damage!
You haven’t heard much from me in blogs, social media or video diaries recently because I have been knuckling down and getting stuff done! The snowball has finally started moving and is now picking up speed. WOWZA!!!! It took some shifting! I thought it might never move.
As many of you know the last few months have been totally and utterly dedicated to fundraising. It quite honestly nearly (mentally) crippled me.
(This brings me onto my next mini topic.)
Some call me inspiring.
Inspiring, eh? I am flattered but I am far from inspiring.
For one, in my opinion, that word is far overused these days. We’ve all got to get on and get sh*t done. That’s the way of life right?
If I chose to dedicate all (!!!!) of my free time begging and pleading for money, then sit in a boat and row round Great Britain, I am choosing to do it. Yes, it’s determined and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer but let me give you a little insight – this is the ‘Secret Life of a Fundraiser’ after all.
There were parts of the last few months that were far from inspiring. The bits where I was a total zombie and didn’t want to speak to my housemate, leaving the house in a mess and always being too busy to talk. What about the bits where I didn’t check in with my best mates to see how they were or to wish them luck in an event they were doing? And what about that nice guy I was seeing, that I was too busy to talk to on the phone and ended up calling it a day because I was just ‘too busy’?
And that’s just the start. I would frequently turn up to work absolutely shattered from staying up late writing emails, unable to perform to the best of my ability. There were times where I’d work myself into the ground to such an extent that I actually made myself mentally ill and couldn’t get out of bed for 2 days. My friends were extremely worried. Especially after a few things that have happened to me in the past. The fundraising for this challenge very nearly took me to those dark places and it was all self inflicted.
So, what would you say? Would you say this behaviour is inspiring? Because I certainly don’t. The determination that people see is utter stubbornness. I’ve had it since I was a child. My dad always told me.
My obsession to raise the funds to row round Britain blinded me from everything. I wonder if that was normal? The people I have spoke to who have done similar things in the past say it’s the hardest part of any challenge.
So now I’ve got a Lead Sponsor! The snowball is rolling down the hill at a steady speed and the incredible weight on my shoulders has been lifted. But let’s not get carried away, I still have £5,000 to raise in 3 weeks!!! (Oh blimey! I can’t even start to think about that right now).
Since securing eMoov as my lead sponsor, I have also gained sponsorship from other companies offering goods and services such as headphones, mental skills training, food, snacks and clothing. It’s all starting to come together at last!
I wasn’t entirely sure where this post might lead and the purpose of it. I’m not even sure if it is interesting. But what I hope to demonstrate in my journey to row around Great Britain is that this social media, sponsorship, blogger, endurance athlete type thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s bloody tough! In fact, if I had known it was going to be like it was, I don’t think I would have agreed.
The purpose of this post is to also show that behind every free pair of headphones, photoshoot, interview and a substantial multi-££££ sponsor is a world far from what most expect.
Would I do it all again? I don’t know.
Right now, it just feels great to have my mind back. To be able to think clearly, engage in conversation, have my appetite back and not feel in a permanent state of exhaustion and angst.
The other purpose of this post is to show that lots of small steps make a difference. Can you believe I went from £5,000 to £16,000 in just a few weeks? Always remain hopeful, always continue going forward, one step at a time and keep moving towards your goal. In my case it was (and still is) £1 at a time. In a few weeks it will be one oar stroke at a time.
Thank you to everyone that has supported me so far! I really really appreciate it!!! Your donations, big or small, allowed me to keep believing I could do this. Thank you.
Lots of love
A big enormous thanks to eMoov for supporting and believing in me and my challenge. Without them I may have crawled under a rock by now and become a hermit.
I absolute cannot wait to do them and Centrepoint proud and make a massive difference to young people’s lives without a home.
If you would like to help me reach my target to row around Great Britain, please visit my GoFundMe page and make a donation. I have £5,000 left to raise to purchase the final bits of equipment. Thank you x