Today hasn’t been a good day. But at the same time it’s been a great day!
First of all, this morning I went to a very successful business meeting and as a result I picked up £620 of sponsorship from the people there (more on that another day).
I have also been to work at my dream job at Nuclear Experience Days which is going extremely well.
I should be flying, but I’m not. I’ve been suffering from anxiety for the last 4 days and today it was at it’s peak with my heart feeling like it was fighting it’s way out of my chest.
I’m usually very good at getting a handle on it, using Andy Pudicombe‘s (Founder of Headspace) method of observing anxiety instead of getting absorbed into it, but today I just couldn’t help but get involved.
Anxiety does have this little habit of creeping up on me every now and again and hitting hard. I am an ‘all or nothing’ girl and I sometimes get wrapped up in doing too much.
I’ve had to make sacrifices this week and that meant sacrificing sleep, exercise and training and eating well. Ha! These 3 things are the 3 most important factors that keep me, and any human being healthy. And I chose to not do any of them in return for work, laptop, website, fundraising, work, work, laptop and website.
Going to bed at 1am for 3 nights on the trot, then getting up at 5am twice for business breakfasts seemed to be the final straw before my body (and mind) set off some alarm bells. In comes anxiety.
I get asked a lot how I manage my life, what with 2 jobs, training, fundraising, marketing and all the other little bits I do. And not forgetting just general living and dare I say it……. relaxing?
As I mentioned before, I am all or nothing, so when I decide to do something, I throw myself in and that means sometimes not doing other things. That’s probably why I am good at endurance events.
I’ve had to sacrifice the above 3 things this week in order to get some important jobs done for my fundraising campaign. My friends tell me I am silly for making these sacrifices and I wouldn’t recommend it, but sometimes I just have to ‘do more in 24.’
And I have missed (ignored) loads of phone calls from friends which I know isn’t good.
The result? I’ve (Almost) finished my website and secured £620 for my Great British Rowing challenge, along with some other good news that will be announced another day.
All together, despite feeling like a wreck, I do feel relieved to be making progress on my ‘career‘ as an ocean rower.
Now what I need to do is master the art of balance. And I don’t mean standing on one leg. I am currently living my life like a HIIT training session – going hard hard hard and taking very little rest. I should be approaching it like I approach most of my endurance events, steady, consistent and controlled. That person would surely win the race over the crazy HIIT person?
Now I am going to get some rest.